ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I CAN MOONWALK!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize