She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
