I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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