So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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