Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
