You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
