She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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