I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
