Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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