Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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