god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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