He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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