he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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