im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
