we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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