It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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