About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
