My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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