I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
