she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
