i don't like sucking hair
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize