weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
