Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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