That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
