It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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