some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
