just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
