Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
