When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
