I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize