i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
