she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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