Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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