after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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