My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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