Your tits are I can't wait for
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
