We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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