Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
