i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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