I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
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