so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
