Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
