Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
