I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Dignity is for republicans.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
