Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
