you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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