I must be too annoying 4 u.
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
