so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
