Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
