it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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