So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He did a backflip because drugs
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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