problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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