The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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