your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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