It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
