He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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